Boogie with a suitcase (karlaanne) wrote,
Boogie with a suitcase
karlaanne

From: Jeannine
Sent: Thursday, October 07, 2010
To: Lineback, Karla
Subject: RE: Silence

Add to list: Man must have spine and not afraid to use it

These weaklings love what you give them. They have been made to feel like their worthless for so long that they are like sponges when they first meet you.
Then it gets too intense b/c they realize...omg she's awesome and this is scary b/c I'm having real feelings. I'm not ready to have real feelings. I'm damaged goods....aareakgelkgjkg Run away!!!!!

My thought is that if they had a spine, they would be able to say...you're awesome and I enjoy spending time with you. However, I have a lot of stuff going on right now but I'd be willing to make time for you if you could make time for me. Let's slow this down a bit. Why can't a guy just say....let's slow this down a bit? That is all it would take.

That and for you to stop drinking truth serum while you are around said dude.

GRRRRR!

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From: Lineback, Karla
Sent: Thursday, October 07, 2010
To: Jeannine
Subject: RE: Silence
Just had a funny thought. My blood is made from truth serum. L

I think you’re right about the sponge. I am attracted to a fixer upper, I want to teach everyone how amazing they are, I guess. I dunno. If a man isn’t damaged goods, I don’t know how to feel useful….

I honestly don’t know what I would do with myself if I found a man without a really screwed up past who has his shit together…. such unicorns do not exist in the greater triangle area.

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From: Jeannine
Sent: Thursday, October 07, 2010
To: Lineback, Karla
Subject: RE: Silence

Ok Florence Nightingale, realize that it's much easier to take care of other people than it is to take care of yourself. That's the hardest thing to do in the world, I think. At least it is for me. But I will tell you that I love everyone as best as I can but I only invest in people who invest in me.

Your heart and your dreams are precious things. They should be in hands of people who will help to guide them, protect them and nurture them. Why would you invest in people who can't invest in you? I think we are called to treat all others with respect and love but I do not think we are called on to stick around if we're being mistreated. There's a certain gift to being able to be discriminating about the people we allow into our inner circle and knowing when it makes sense to step arm's length way from relationships we know have the potential of being toxic; and in doing so, step away not with anger or hatred, but with respect, and yes, love, because it's the healthy thing to do.
I know this isn't always easy -- I've had my own share of pretty addicting relationships in my past. But I think when we get the hang of it, when we start to really invest in the true friends (relationships) who invest in us, well; it's sort of just you and them against the world. I want people to treat me the way I treat them. How awesome is that?
There's a difference in helping someone and letting them take advantage of the help you offer.
There's a difference between lifting someone up and them never accepting your help.
You can't force grace on someone, right? You can only love them. You can't give them your love if they don't want it, right?
You can only walk away and love them anyway.

Btw such unicorns do not exist in the greater triangle area....
sure they do. They are called courageous. Courage is not about being fearless but about saying yes to the next step and the one after that. Everyone has a messed up past. Everyone is in recovery. Some people just don't live in their past. They embrace it and are more interesting for it.
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